Narrative Writing For The Giant’s Necklace
As the beaming sun reached the midway point in the sky, Cherry’s mother and father couldn’t stand the heat any longer, and finally made their way back to the to the winding path, that led back up to the cottage.
“Boy’s, me and your father are going to tidy up the cottage ,be home well before dark and LOOK AFTER Cherry,” their mother instructed them, while she brushed sand off of the deck chairs. But the boys were so engrossed in what they were doing all sound was lost by excitement.
After a short period of time, the four boys began to get bored of finding sea weed and stones, instead of crabs, so as their mother and father had done Previously, they made their way up to the winding path that led to the cottage. But Cherry was so quiet collecting her shells, the boys hadn’t noticed they had left her behind.
About three and a half hours later Cherry’s mother had called everyone for tea. As soon as Cherry’s mother, father and the four brothers had sat down she called,
“Cherry tea’s ready”
There was silence
“Cherry come on now, stop playing games!”
But there was still silence, Cherry’s mother’s head turned to the boys,
“Where’s Cherry?” Their mother asked almost in a whisper. One of the boys plucked up the courage to speak.
“We might have left her on her on the beach.”
“WHAT” half shouting half screaming their mother replied.
“She’s only eleven! And you left her on her own?”
“Sorry mum, we’ll go straight back and get her home!”
“She’d better be safe!” Threatened her mum.
Friday, 25 January 2008
The Giant's Necklace by Bethany
The Giant's Necklace by Cassie
The Giant’s Necklace by Cassie
As Cherry’s mum(Mr Baxster) just put the last portion on the table, she realised that Cherry was know were to be seen ,therefore she was annoyed, mysteriously she glanced, at the four brother’s, (while turning red) “WHERE IS CHERRY?”
There was no answer “WELL THEN SPEAK UP!” (she grew more and more furious).
“Sorry mum, we did tell her to come home, but she didn’t listen,” they murmured.
“GO AND GET HER NOW!”
“Ok mum,” they whimpered.
The four brothers searched all day and all night, but there were know sign of Cherry - just the sweet smell of her innocence, in the clean oxygen. “CHERRY, CHERRY!” her brother’s called.
“I miss Cherry,” the youngest brother cried.
“Don’t worry, we all do. Just keep hope and we’ll find her,” the other brother replied.
Devastated, they returned home to their depressed parents with a murdered smile on there faces. As they entered there mum’s room she was there in the dark sobbing.
As Cherry’s mum(Mr Baxster) just put the last portion on the table, she realised that Cherry was know were to be seen ,therefore she was annoyed, mysteriously she glanced, at the four brother’s, (while turning red) “WHERE IS CHERRY?”
There was no answer “WELL THEN SPEAK UP!” (she grew more and more furious).
“Sorry mum, we did tell her to come home, but she didn’t listen,” they murmured.
“GO AND GET HER NOW!”
“Ok mum,” they whimpered.
The four brothers searched all day and all night, but there were know sign of Cherry - just the sweet smell of her innocence, in the clean oxygen. “CHERRY, CHERRY!” her brother’s called.
“I miss Cherry,” the youngest brother cried.
“Don’t worry, we all do. Just keep hope and we’ll find her,” the other brother replied.
Devastated, they returned home to their depressed parents with a murdered smile on there faces. As they entered there mum’s room she was there in the dark sobbing.
Big It Up! by Serena
12 o’clock news by Serena
News flash, Serena, 12, has been elected by Gordon Ramsey as the best candy rock maker in the universe. However this has an effect on little children, here’s a local dentist who wants to have his say. “All thanks to Serena, children will soon be bombarding me and my colleagues just in a matter of days”.
Serena thinks this is all a sham and this healthy eating business is total rubbish.
Serena: “A stick of rock will not do any harm to any one I’ve worked with top scientists and they say it’s perfectly healthy because my ingredients are vegetables and fluoride so please leave me in peace!”
Serena’s vegetable rock is on sale today two rocks for the price of one.
News flash, Serena, 12, has been elected by Gordon Ramsey as the best candy rock maker in the universe. However this has an effect on little children, here’s a local dentist who wants to have his say. “All thanks to Serena, children will soon be bombarding me and my colleagues just in a matter of days”.
Serena thinks this is all a sham and this healthy eating business is total rubbish.
Serena: “A stick of rock will not do any harm to any one I’ve worked with top scientists and they say it’s perfectly healthy because my ingredients are vegetables and fluoride so please leave me in peace!”
Serena’s vegetable rock is on sale today two rocks for the price of one.
Thursday, 24 January 2008
Writing to look forward to...
Red group have looked through their literacy books and are busy typing up some more examples of Oak 1's writing.
Look forward to reading our Tempest writing in role and our Big It Up examples.
Thank you once again for the support, and comments.
Look forward to reading our Tempest writing in role and our Big It Up examples.
Thank you once again for the support, and comments.
Wednesday, 23 January 2008
playscript by Ashleigh
The Giant’s Necklace – play script by Ashleigh
A cave in an old tin mine, a girl and two men talk. Cherry is on her feet backing away.
Young man: No need to be afeared! (holding his hand out towards her) We won’t hurt you. (staring at the fire) Not now!
(Cherry moves closer)
Young man: It’ll be alright we will help you.
Cherry: But I want to go home! (feeling the panic rising in her voice and trying to control it)
Cherry: I know you are kind but I want to go home! (kindly) My mother will be worried about me! They will be looking for me.
Young man: Yes it is only natural that you should want to see them.
Cherry: Your light saved my life and I want to thank you! (walking around) But I must go back or they’ll worry themselves sick.
A cave in an old tin mine, a girl and two men talk. Cherry is on her feet backing away.
Young man: No need to be afeared! (holding his hand out towards her) We won’t hurt you. (staring at the fire) Not now!
(Cherry moves closer)
Young man: It’ll be alright we will help you.
Cherry: But I want to go home! (feeling the panic rising in her voice and trying to control it)
Cherry: I know you are kind but I want to go home! (kindly) My mother will be worried about me! They will be looking for me.
Young man: Yes it is only natural that you should want to see them.
Cherry: Your light saved my life and I want to thank you! (walking around) But I must go back or they’ll worry themselves sick.
Giant's Necklace by Michael
The Giant’s Necklace – play script by Michael
Cherry was looking at her necklace at the table wearing her dressing gown.
Cherry: There’s still the sea in them (talking to no one in particular) you can still smell it.
Mum: You’ve only got today (putting her arm around Cherry) we’re off back home tomorrow, first thing. Why don’t you call it a day dear? It’s long enough
already!
Cherry (shaking her head): No, only that little bit left, then it’ll be finished.
Mum (weakly): They’ll take hours to collect dear.
Cherry: Only a few hours (bending over, brows furrowed).
Mum(desperately):Isn’t it long enough, Cherry?
Cherry: No, it is going to reach the toaster!
Mum (turning away so she can continue her drying up) Well, I can’t spend all day on the beach today, Cherry!
Cherry was looking at her necklace at the table wearing her dressing gown.
Cherry: There’s still the sea in them (talking to no one in particular) you can still smell it.
Mum: You’ve only got today (putting her arm around Cherry) we’re off back home tomorrow, first thing. Why don’t you call it a day dear? It’s long enough
already!
Cherry (shaking her head): No, only that little bit left, then it’ll be finished.
Mum (weakly): They’ll take hours to collect dear.
Cherry: Only a few hours (bending over, brows furrowed).
Mum(desperately):Isn’t it long enough, Cherry?
Cherry: No, it is going to reach the toaster!
Mum (turning away so she can continue her drying up) Well, I can’t spend all day on the beach today, Cherry!
Tuesday, 22 January 2008
The Giant's Necklace playscript by Rebekah and Brendan
The giant necklace
Cherry in a cave with two men!
Young
Man: Can’t you see? Now let’s make a little
fire to warm her through. She shivered,
right through to her bones. You can see
she is.
Old
Man: They all are. (pulling to his feet)
They all are. (Shuffling past her
Into the dark) I’ll fetch the wood.
(Muttering) For all the good it’ll do.
Cherry: What does he mean (feel instant. )
What did he mean by that ?
Yong
Man: Oh pay him on heed, little girl. He’s an
Old man now and tired of the mine. We’re
both tired of it , but we’re proud of see.
And we’ve nowhere else to go, nothing
else to do. (have a voice that is reassuring)
young
man : Sit down by me while you listen ,girl.
Farther will make a fire to warm you
and I shall tell you how we come
to be here. You wont be afeared now
will you? (Cherry look up into his face)
(In a expected voice)
Every
One: That my girl. (New mine)
By Rebekah and Brendan
Cherry in a cave with two men!
Young
Man: Can’t you see? Now let’s make a little
fire to warm her through. She shivered,
right through to her bones. You can see
she is.
Old
Man: They all are. (pulling to his feet)
They all are. (Shuffling past her
Into the dark) I’ll fetch the wood.
(Muttering) For all the good it’ll do.
Cherry: What does he mean (feel instant. )
What did he mean by that ?
Yong
Man: Oh pay him on heed, little girl. He’s an
Old man now and tired of the mine. We’re
both tired of it , but we’re proud of see.
And we’ve nowhere else to go, nothing
else to do. (have a voice that is reassuring)
young
man : Sit down by me while you listen ,girl.
Farther will make a fire to warm you
and I shall tell you how we come
to be here. You wont be afeared now
will you? (Cherry look up into his face)
(In a expected voice)
Every
One: That my girl. (New mine)
By Rebekah and Brendan
Giant's Necklace play script by Billie
Giant’s Necklace – playscript by Billie
A dark cave in an old Cornish tin mine – a girl and two man are discussing walking through the tunnels.
Old man: You’ll be wanting me to guide you to the surface I suppose?
Cherry: I’m not the first one then?
(The old man shook his head)
Cherry: There’s been others climb up into the mine to escape from the sea?
(The old man nodded)
Cherry: You’ve saved lots of people?
Young man: (sadly) A few, a few.
Cherry: (smiling) You’re a very kind person.
(The young man sighs and then nods head)
Cherry: I never thought ghosts would be so kind.
Young man: We’re just people, people who have passed on. (Taking Cherry’s elbow and leading her towards the fire)
(Cherry smiles)
Young man: There’s nice people and there’s nasty people, it’s the same if you’re dead or alive.
Cherry: You’re a nice person, I can tell that even though I haven’t known you for long.
A dark cave in an old Cornish tin mine – a girl and two man are discussing walking through the tunnels.
Old man: You’ll be wanting me to guide you to the surface I suppose?
Cherry: I’m not the first one then?
(The old man shook his head)
Cherry: There’s been others climb up into the mine to escape from the sea?
(The old man nodded)
Cherry: You’ve saved lots of people?
Young man: (sadly) A few, a few.
Cherry: (smiling) You’re a very kind person.
(The young man sighs and then nods head)
Cherry: I never thought ghosts would be so kind.
Young man: We’re just people, people who have passed on. (Taking Cherry’s elbow and leading her towards the fire)
(Cherry smiles)
Young man: There’s nice people and there’s nasty people, it’s the same if you’re dead or alive.
Cherry: You’re a nice person, I can tell that even though I haven’t known you for long.
Narrative writing - The Giant's necklace by Laura
Giant's Necklace by Laura
Sweat dribbled down her face, Cherry’s mother called out. Cherry didn’t register what had been said. She collected more shells.
SPLASH, water dripped around the 12year olds bare head and shoulders, salt stinging her eyes and face.
“CHERRY!”
Giggling faces – hot with sweat and red with excitement - smirked down at their little sister face.
“ WHATDYOUDOTHATFOR?”
“You didn’t hear?” he said before doubling up laughing.
“We’re going now, you coming?” the other said.
“OFCOURSIMNOTCOMING!” then a bit quieter now.” Just leave me alone O.K.” Cherry turned angrily but there was no one to lecture on surprising her. Her brothers were gone.
“Oh Cherry, remember what mum said.” A voice shouted from the cliff face.
Cherry winced as she climbed down the jagged rocks that lay protecting the little secluded cove which Cherry called the cove of Shells in a Cove for boats.
Then it hit her, sending the sensible girl into a hysterical mess. She tried to calm down but the devil of negative emotions had broken free from the prison inside of her.
Cherry sucked her wound. It wouldn’t heal in this humid weather. She racked her brains and rattled her memory but there was nothing there. Water trickled out of Cherry’s eye and swelled in her eyelids. The sun glinted through the tears casting rainbow colours on the shells that lay before her. Forgetting her troubles Cherry engaged herself once more in her shells.
A rumble in the distance brought Cherry momentarily back in to the land of sense. Just about to turn back Cherry felt that the air had become cleaner. So, that didn’t matter, did it? She reached over her electric blue towel. As she did this a jet of electric light and buzz entered Cherry’s figure. Static electricity here.
She saw it before she heard it. The wave spraying over her back.
“ Can I ask you a few questions about your daughter? Why did you leave her on her own.?”
Cherry’s mother answered in a sorrowful voice whilst mopping her face with a hankie. This had been going on all night. Coast guard and police officers asking the same questions over and over again.
“Thank you for your time, we will keep searching.”
Lightning stuck outside and Cherry’s mother saw her daughter just for a moment: Wet hair plastered to her face: Sodden clothes heavy and limp. It was that moment that Cherry’s mother accepted she was gone.
Sweat dribbled down her face, Cherry’s mother called out. Cherry didn’t register what had been said. She collected more shells.
SPLASH, water dripped around the 12year olds bare head and shoulders, salt stinging her eyes and face.
“CHERRY!”
Giggling faces – hot with sweat and red with excitement - smirked down at their little sister face.
“ WHATDYOUDOTHATFOR?”
“You didn’t hear?” he said before doubling up laughing.
“We’re going now, you coming?” the other said.
“OFCOURSIMNOTCOMING!” then a bit quieter now.” Just leave me alone O.K.” Cherry turned angrily but there was no one to lecture on surprising her. Her brothers were gone.
“Oh Cherry, remember what mum said.” A voice shouted from the cliff face.
Cherry winced as she climbed down the jagged rocks that lay protecting the little secluded cove which Cherry called the cove of Shells in a Cove for boats.
Then it hit her, sending the sensible girl into a hysterical mess. She tried to calm down but the devil of negative emotions had broken free from the prison inside of her.
Cherry sucked her wound. It wouldn’t heal in this humid weather. She racked her brains and rattled her memory but there was nothing there. Water trickled out of Cherry’s eye and swelled in her eyelids. The sun glinted through the tears casting rainbow colours on the shells that lay before her. Forgetting her troubles Cherry engaged herself once more in her shells.
A rumble in the distance brought Cherry momentarily back in to the land of sense. Just about to turn back Cherry felt that the air had become cleaner. So, that didn’t matter, did it? She reached over her electric blue towel. As she did this a jet of electric light and buzz entered Cherry’s figure. Static electricity here.
She saw it before she heard it. The wave spraying over her back.
“ Can I ask you a few questions about your daughter? Why did you leave her on her own.?”
Cherry’s mother answered in a sorrowful voice whilst mopping her face with a hankie. This had been going on all night. Coast guard and police officers asking the same questions over and over again.
“Thank you for your time, we will keep searching.”
Lightning stuck outside and Cherry’s mother saw her daughter just for a moment: Wet hair plastered to her face: Sodden clothes heavy and limp. It was that moment that Cherry’s mother accepted she was gone.
Sunday, 20 January 2008
Writing to look forward to...
This week Oak 1's level 5 writers will be writing the scene when the family discover Cherry is missing in the style of Michael Morpurgo. Level 3 and 4 writers will write part of the scene in the tin mine as a playscript.
Then we will be moving onto writing our own character descriptions. Oak 1 will look forward to sharing their writing with you on this blog.
Then we will be moving onto writing our own character descriptions. Oak 1 will look forward to sharing their writing with you on this blog.
Laura's Giant Necklace Newspaper report
HOPES FADE FOR THE MISSING CHILD HOLIDAY-MAKER
By Laura
Cornwall was battered last night by a force 9 gale which was the most ferocious in twenty years. Unfortunately, a young girl who was holidaying with her family, went missing at Boat Cove.
Cherry, 11, was staying with her family in a granite cottage in a little village in the west. The family were regular holiday makers and had been coming to Cornwall for the last fifteen years. Joshua, the youngest of Cherry’s four older brothers, was the first to notice that she was not there after the family returned from the trip to the beach, Boat Cove. Cherry had been collecting shells for a necklace when she must have been consumed by the waves.
Police Inspector James Harley is leading the investigation. The cove has been closed off to the public and the secluded beach has already uncovered some of the mystery. Cherry’s towel and shells have been recovered a nook in the rocks a quarter of the way up the cliffs. Experts now say that Cherry was obviously cut off from the path back to the cove so obviously tried climbing the cliffs. It is believed that she was then swept off the rocks by rough waves. Chances of finding her alive are slim. The Coastguards are still patrolling ten miles along the coast but they have found nothing.
Inspector James Harley introduced the distraught family at the Press Report and Cherry’s mother spoke through her tears; “My only daughter is gone, I feel guilty and irresponsible. Most of all I feel I have been an unsuitable mother to my children. I should have stayed on the beach with her!”
Cherry’s father is so shocked that he is unable to speak, and his family believe that he is in denial and even set his daughter’s place at the breakfast table this morning. Her four older brothers have said in interviews that they adored their sister and are devastated.
The tourist community are in shock and many holiday makers are leaving early to return home as more freak weather is forecasted. The quiet village had got to know the family over the fifteen years they had been returning and villagers are keen to erect a shrine to remember Cherry, who many agree was a lovely girl who enjoyed her holidays in Cornwall.
By Laura
Cornwall was battered last night by a force 9 gale which was the most ferocious in twenty years. Unfortunately, a young girl who was holidaying with her family, went missing at Boat Cove.
Cherry, 11, was staying with her family in a granite cottage in a little village in the west. The family were regular holiday makers and had been coming to Cornwall for the last fifteen years. Joshua, the youngest of Cherry’s four older brothers, was the first to notice that she was not there after the family returned from the trip to the beach, Boat Cove. Cherry had been collecting shells for a necklace when she must have been consumed by the waves.
Police Inspector James Harley is leading the investigation. The cove has been closed off to the public and the secluded beach has already uncovered some of the mystery. Cherry’s towel and shells have been recovered a nook in the rocks a quarter of the way up the cliffs. Experts now say that Cherry was obviously cut off from the path back to the cove so obviously tried climbing the cliffs. It is believed that she was then swept off the rocks by rough waves. Chances of finding her alive are slim. The Coastguards are still patrolling ten miles along the coast but they have found nothing.
Inspector James Harley introduced the distraught family at the Press Report and Cherry’s mother spoke through her tears; “My only daughter is gone, I feel guilty and irresponsible. Most of all I feel I have been an unsuitable mother to my children. I should have stayed on the beach with her!”
Cherry’s father is so shocked that he is unable to speak, and his family believe that he is in denial and even set his daughter’s place at the breakfast table this morning. Her four older brothers have said in interviews that they adored their sister and are devastated.
The tourist community are in shock and many holiday makers are leaving early to return home as more freak weather is forecasted. The quiet village had got to know the family over the fifteen years they had been returning and villagers are keen to erect a shrine to remember Cherry, who many agree was a lovely girl who enjoyed her holidays in Cornwall.
Giant's Necklace report - Brandon
CHILD MISSING – PRESUMED DROWNED
By Brandon
It is believed that Cherry aged 11, who had been collecting shells, when she crawled up the cliffs in an attempt to get back to the coastal path but was swept away in the storm. Big waves came and swept her out to sea during a freak storm which was the worst in twenty years.
Her family are upset and her mother sad, “We loved her, I really can’t believe she has gone!” Cherry’s four older brothers searched the area for hours along with the police and coastguard but they only found her shells wrapped in her towel and her shoe.
The family’s holiday has been ruined and lots of other holiday makers are upset by the tragedy and freak weather. The search for Cherry continues but the hope of finding her alive fade.
By Brandon
It is believed that Cherry aged 11, who had been collecting shells, when she crawled up the cliffs in an attempt to get back to the coastal path but was swept away in the storm. Big waves came and swept her out to sea during a freak storm which was the worst in twenty years.
Her family are upset and her mother sad, “We loved her, I really can’t believe she has gone!” Cherry’s four older brothers searched the area for hours along with the police and coastguard but they only found her shells wrapped in her towel and her shoe.
The family’s holiday has been ruined and lots of other holiday makers are upset by the tragedy and freak weather. The search for Cherry continues but the hope of finding her alive fade.
Giant's Necklace newspaper reports - Serena
ENORMOUS WAVE TAKES GIRL!
By Serena
In Northern Cornwall tonight, a family are left grieving after sea rescuers were pressurised into acknowledging the expectations of finding the lost girl were slim and it was likely that she had drowned.
Cherry (the missing girl) aged 11, vanished from Boat Cove during the tie of a monstrous storm, whilst she was gathering shells. The alarm was raised when her oldest brother, Leroy noticed that she had not returned home with them.
The search and rescue team has more than 200 volunteers, including life guards from southern Cornwall, searching for signs of the missing girl. Sadly they found her towel containing her precious shells that she had needed to complete her necklace and it seems that she was trying to climb the cliffs to safety.
At the Press Conference Cherry’s mother said whilst holding back her tears; “I can’t believe my baby has gone missing and that she may have drowned.” Her brothers too were said to be distraught and felt sorry that they teased her about her necklace but they loved her dearly.
Now the family can only wait patiently, and hope that Cherry is found alive.
By Serena
In Northern Cornwall tonight, a family are left grieving after sea rescuers were pressurised into acknowledging the expectations of finding the lost girl were slim and it was likely that she had drowned.
Cherry (the missing girl) aged 11, vanished from Boat Cove during the tie of a monstrous storm, whilst she was gathering shells. The alarm was raised when her oldest brother, Leroy noticed that she had not returned home with them.
The search and rescue team has more than 200 volunteers, including life guards from southern Cornwall, searching for signs of the missing girl. Sadly they found her towel containing her precious shells that she had needed to complete her necklace and it seems that she was trying to climb the cliffs to safety.
At the Press Conference Cherry’s mother said whilst holding back her tears; “I can’t believe my baby has gone missing and that she may have drowned.” Her brothers too were said to be distraught and felt sorry that they teased her about her necklace but they loved her dearly.
Now the family can only wait patiently, and hope that Cherry is found alive.
The Midnight World by Cassie
The Midnight World by Cassie
It was midnight and unfortunately I could not get to sleep. I slivered out of bed and made my way down the hall. Very ponderously I crept into that room – the forbidden room. There was not much there only a dressing table with a mirror. I walked a bit closer and saw a large white object, it was a quilt covering something. Without thinking I pulled it off. I took a deep breath. I thought about who had hid it here.
After a minute or two, I gracefully opened a tall wide door at the far end of the room. I couldn’t believe my eyes – as far as I could see was glistening white snow covering the land like a smooth cotton blanket. As I turned my head towards the sun it was a greenish colour. I stood glancing at it for about half an hour not yet through the door.
I was just about to shut the door when I heard a noise from the corridor; my belly started to rumble, sweat was dripping down my face. I heard someone turn the doorknob, I did the first thing that came into my head and jumped into the new world and shut the door behind me whilst glimpsing two figures approaching.
I screamed and ran as fast as I could but now they were entering my new world – a boy with pink hair and purple eyes, wearing red clothes
- a girl with green hair, blue eyes and strange clothes
They said they came in peace...
It was midnight and unfortunately I could not get to sleep. I slivered out of bed and made my way down the hall. Very ponderously I crept into that room – the forbidden room. There was not much there only a dressing table with a mirror. I walked a bit closer and saw a large white object, it was a quilt covering something. Without thinking I pulled it off. I took a deep breath. I thought about who had hid it here.
After a minute or two, I gracefully opened a tall wide door at the far end of the room. I couldn’t believe my eyes – as far as I could see was glistening white snow covering the land like a smooth cotton blanket. As I turned my head towards the sun it was a greenish colour. I stood glancing at it for about half an hour not yet through the door.
I was just about to shut the door when I heard a noise from the corridor; my belly started to rumble, sweat was dripping down my face. I heard someone turn the doorknob, I did the first thing that came into my head and jumped into the new world and shut the door behind me whilst glimpsing two figures approaching.
I screamed and ran as fast as I could but now they were entering my new world – a boy with pink hair and purple eyes, wearing red clothes
- a girl with green hair, blue eyes and strange clothes
They said they came in peace...
The Midnight World by Hannah
The Midnight World by Hannah
One freezing night, the house was quiet but I still couldn’t sleep. Just as all of the clocks in the house struck midnight, I realised there was a strange light coming from the right door of the old wardrobe. Slowly, walking on the creaky floorboards, I made my way to the wardrobe as there in front of me the doors began to open on their own. I shivered as I saw the winter snow falling. Grabbing my winter coat and boots, I slowly walked into the new world.
I walked through spiky cold trees as a cloud of smoke escaped from my mouth as I breathed. Just then I came to a ski slope, and there in front of me was my favourite author Valerie Bloom. She asked me if I wanted to go skiing with her. Of course I did and even though I fell over a couple of time, I enjoyed it but decided to give it up.
Valerie Bloom took me to her house and we had fun learning all her raps and we played all my favourite board games. I had a brilliant time and was amazed when she returned me to the wardrobe door and when I got back it was 12:00 midnight –still!
I went back to sleep and in the morning I told my mum and dad but they didn’t believe me and said Valerie Bloom was in Jamaica, but I knew she wasn’t!
One freezing night, the house was quiet but I still couldn’t sleep. Just as all of the clocks in the house struck midnight, I realised there was a strange light coming from the right door of the old wardrobe. Slowly, walking on the creaky floorboards, I made my way to the wardrobe as there in front of me the doors began to open on their own. I shivered as I saw the winter snow falling. Grabbing my winter coat and boots, I slowly walked into the new world.
I walked through spiky cold trees as a cloud of smoke escaped from my mouth as I breathed. Just then I came to a ski slope, and there in front of me was my favourite author Valerie Bloom. She asked me if I wanted to go skiing with her. Of course I did and even though I fell over a couple of time, I enjoyed it but decided to give it up.
Valerie Bloom took me to her house and we had fun learning all her raps and we played all my favourite board games. I had a brilliant time and was amazed when she returned me to the wardrobe door and when I got back it was 12:00 midnight –still!
I went back to sleep and in the morning I told my mum and dad but they didn’t believe me and said Valerie Bloom was in Jamaica, but I knew she wasn’t!
The Midnight World by Jordan
The Midnight World by Jordan
As I entered the brand new world I saw a house which looked like my house, so much so that my feet floated and slowly drifted towards the house uncontrollably. My body pushed into this house where I met my granddad! Who then suddenly disappeared, in front of my very eyes. A shadow slowly drifted by. I moved around the room to see what was around; I ran up stairs.
I knew I was no longer in Southampton – the house was the same as mine but something wasn’t quite right. It was as if we were being manipulated by a mysterious person. Suddenly something hit me on the back of my head and I woke up in my bed. I pinched myself to see if I was dreaming.
My head was throbbing but it was my feet I was worried about – they seemed to move by themselves as if I was possessed by a ghost. I wanted to get out of there but my feet wouldn’t move so I shouted at the top of my voice, “HELP! HELP!” There was no reply even though it echoed through the house.
My feet sprinted off towards the door but it slammed shut. Suddenly I remembered what had happened the night before. A shadow drifted past. Was I in a dream or was this real?
As I entered the brand new world I saw a house which looked like my house, so much so that my feet floated and slowly drifted towards the house uncontrollably. My body pushed into this house where I met my granddad! Who then suddenly disappeared, in front of my very eyes. A shadow slowly drifted by. I moved around the room to see what was around; I ran up stairs.
I knew I was no longer in Southampton – the house was the same as mine but something wasn’t quite right. It was as if we were being manipulated by a mysterious person. Suddenly something hit me on the back of my head and I woke up in my bed. I pinched myself to see if I was dreaming.
My head was throbbing but it was my feet I was worried about – they seemed to move by themselves as if I was possessed by a ghost. I wanted to get out of there but my feet wouldn’t move so I shouted at the top of my voice, “HELP! HELP!” There was no reply even though it echoed through the house.
My feet sprinted off towards the door but it slammed shut. Suddenly I remembered what had happened the night before. A shadow drifted past. Was I in a dream or was this real?
The Midnight World by Aydan
The Midnight World by Aydan
In front of me was a dark, dismal and sandy world with just a speck of light. I wondered why this place was so dark and boring.
What was I hearing as I travelled around, still wondering why it was so dark. Was it the bogeyman? I halted for a moment. Thankfully he didn’t hurt me. While we were chatting I met someone else called Master Yoda.
They showed me around; but this was one weird place – it was a cave with skulls hanging down – killed in revenge. I couldn’t believe my eyes.
We travelled to a mysterious castle. It was dark and empty; we crept up to an old wooden door. It slowly creaked open as we entered, slowly and quietly. Staring at the walls.
Somehow we got lost. I found a secret passageway leading into a kind of basement.
SSSOOOMMONE HELLLPP MEEEEE! How stupid – me trapped in my own wretched wardrobe.
In front of me was a dark, dismal and sandy world with just a speck of light. I wondered why this place was so dark and boring.
What was I hearing as I travelled around, still wondering why it was so dark. Was it the bogeyman? I halted for a moment. Thankfully he didn’t hurt me. While we were chatting I met someone else called Master Yoda.
They showed me around; but this was one weird place – it was a cave with skulls hanging down – killed in revenge. I couldn’t believe my eyes.
We travelled to a mysterious castle. It was dark and empty; we crept up to an old wooden door. It slowly creaked open as we entered, slowly and quietly. Staring at the walls.
Somehow we got lost. I found a secret passageway leading into a kind of basement.
SSSOOOMMONE HELLLPP MEEEEE! How stupid – me trapped in my own wretched wardrobe.
The Midnight World by Serena
The Midnight World by Serena
Filled with fear, I tiptoed into the dark, dismal wardrobe and entered into a skin crawling, pitch-black world. Shadows rushed past me, as the bright moon shone. Pitter-patter, noises circled me. I froze with fear. A fragile, feeble woman approached me. Hesitation came upon my soul.
“Get out, get out!” crackled the woman.
“Why?” I replied.
“Oh, you’ll know why when you collect the red, ruby of courage.”
I took a deep breath and replied yes.
Off I went through the spine tingling forest, being aware of what is around me. Peering eyes (birds) followed me. As I walked, I wondered why that lady wanted me to go on that sort of quest. I just carried on walking, then came to a spooky castle, knocked the door, it magically opened (how strange). Lolloping forward, I came to a flight of winding stairs. Creeping up the stairs I stumble in front of a familiar man, it was my English teacher Mr Coalfire. Why was he here!!
Pictures swam through my head. Now I remember. He said I’ll be waiting for you boy tonight, so that’s why the lady wants me to collect the ruby but this links to the essay we had to write about the red ruby.
“Why though, I just do not know!” But I can’t unlock the code. I will soon…
Filled with fear, I tiptoed into the dark, dismal wardrobe and entered into a skin crawling, pitch-black world. Shadows rushed past me, as the bright moon shone. Pitter-patter, noises circled me. I froze with fear. A fragile, feeble woman approached me. Hesitation came upon my soul.
“Get out, get out!” crackled the woman.
“Why?” I replied.
“Oh, you’ll know why when you collect the red, ruby of courage.”
I took a deep breath and replied yes.
Off I went through the spine tingling forest, being aware of what is around me. Peering eyes (birds) followed me. As I walked, I wondered why that lady wanted me to go on that sort of quest. I just carried on walking, then came to a spooky castle, knocked the door, it magically opened (how strange). Lolloping forward, I came to a flight of winding stairs. Creeping up the stairs I stumble in front of a familiar man, it was my English teacher Mr Coalfire. Why was he here!!
Pictures swam through my head. Now I remember. He said I’ll be waiting for you boy tonight, so that’s why the lady wants me to collect the ruby but this links to the essay we had to write about the red ruby.
“Why though, I just do not know!” But I can’t unlock the code. I will soon…
The Midnight World by Demi
The Midnight World by Demi
Carefully, I took my first steps into the new world. As I entered I felt a sudden feeling that something wasn’t right. It did feel a little bit cold, but that didn’t give the reason. Slowly I looked around me – everything was dull and gloomy. Suddenly I heard a loud noise of some sort. This rustling noise was coming from the trees. Nervously, I tip-toed to the place that I heard someone or something there. Then a small figure jumped out from the leaves of the red willow tree.
“Hello, my name is Dandelion, I’m a forest fairy,” whispered the small person. I stood there in amazement. I must be dreaming. There was no such thing – well my mother always said they were just made up. How could it be?
She led me to a hut where I slept for the first night. Tired I woke up. I opened the tiny, pink, decorated curtains. Outside I saw magical creatures:
Goblins
Fairies
Monsters
Pixies.
They all looked very sad. That was very unusual. Back at home everyone was always happy. Yet Dandelion – my new friend had a bubbly personality – what had happened? After I finished staring, she murmured, “Since the ugly witch ruled the place, every creature is miserable.”
No wonder everyone was depressed; I needed to defeat the evil witch. We must travel to the witches lair said Dandelion. Both of us travelled, far out to the evil witch’s lair. Surprisingly there were no guards, which gave us a chance to sneak into the castle. There in front of us was the evil witch – eyes of fire and a nose so long you wouldn’t believe your eyes.
Quickly I grabbed the dagger and stabbed it in her back; her weakest point. At last the evil witch was dead.
Instantly the weather changed by 100%; making the sun shine. My work was done. Time to go home. When I arrived home again I went straight to bed.
Carefully, I took my first steps into the new world. As I entered I felt a sudden feeling that something wasn’t right. It did feel a little bit cold, but that didn’t give the reason. Slowly I looked around me – everything was dull and gloomy. Suddenly I heard a loud noise of some sort. This rustling noise was coming from the trees. Nervously, I tip-toed to the place that I heard someone or something there. Then a small figure jumped out from the leaves of the red willow tree.
“Hello, my name is Dandelion, I’m a forest fairy,” whispered the small person. I stood there in amazement. I must be dreaming. There was no such thing – well my mother always said they were just made up. How could it be?
She led me to a hut where I slept for the first night. Tired I woke up. I opened the tiny, pink, decorated curtains. Outside I saw magical creatures:
Goblins
Fairies
Monsters
Pixies.
They all looked very sad. That was very unusual. Back at home everyone was always happy. Yet Dandelion – my new friend had a bubbly personality – what had happened? After I finished staring, she murmured, “Since the ugly witch ruled the place, every creature is miserable.”
No wonder everyone was depressed; I needed to defeat the evil witch. We must travel to the witches lair said Dandelion. Both of us travelled, far out to the evil witch’s lair. Surprisingly there were no guards, which gave us a chance to sneak into the castle. There in front of us was the evil witch – eyes of fire and a nose so long you wouldn’t believe your eyes.
Quickly I grabbed the dagger and stabbed it in her back; her weakest point. At last the evil witch was dead.
Instantly the weather changed by 100%; making the sun shine. My work was done. Time to go home. When I arrived home again I went straight to bed.
The Midnight World by Laura
The Midnight World by Laura
Everything was quiet…
Sorry, let me take you back a step. I’ll take you back to the day before. That’s what I’ll do, take you back to the beginning.
Gravel dug into the bottom of my thighs, the sun was blaring down and the noise grew louder. It was January, why was it so hot? My nose twitched. What was that? The air smell was no longer hot and stuffy, but sticky, scented yet strangely peaceful. Wait, the enemies were lulling me. Resist Jo, resist.
“Jo don’t go into the midnight world!” echoing through my worthless head; why, I always went? My mind and legs were working differently. I was going.
Everything was quiet…
There they are my beautiful fir trees; so thick, so strong. The grass is dancing in the scented breeze. I can see so far away to the echoing valleys, the whispering hills, which were all singing, all the way to the river – I had discovered them all. But something was wrong…
By the tree, it’s there again. The silhouette. Pain flashed through my mind opening all memories. The scene was melting, melting away. In its place was a dark, dismal underground lane. Finally the shadows left me alone. The shadows I had been running from.
I made a list in my head:
Ø No trees – just rocks
Ø No grass – just sand
Ø No hills – just light
Ø No creek – no life
just boulders and rubble and dust.
The face was in my head, the pale cruel face. “Shadows” he roared with fire in his eyes. “Attack!” Soldiers reached out with their icy grip. Laughing more, laughing and more laughing. I felt myself grow weaker. The noise changed to a hum. My legs buckled. No more laughing; a smile. But evil or friendly, I will never know.
“HHHHELPPPP!”
“Why,” I whipered.
Trapped in my own wardrobe.
Everything was quiet…
Sorry, let me take you back a step. I’ll take you back to the day before. That’s what I’ll do, take you back to the beginning.
Gravel dug into the bottom of my thighs, the sun was blaring down and the noise grew louder. It was January, why was it so hot? My nose twitched. What was that? The air smell was no longer hot and stuffy, but sticky, scented yet strangely peaceful. Wait, the enemies were lulling me. Resist Jo, resist.
“Jo don’t go into the midnight world!” echoing through my worthless head; why, I always went? My mind and legs were working differently. I was going.
Everything was quiet…
There they are my beautiful fir trees; so thick, so strong. The grass is dancing in the scented breeze. I can see so far away to the echoing valleys, the whispering hills, which were all singing, all the way to the river – I had discovered them all. But something was wrong…
By the tree, it’s there again. The silhouette. Pain flashed through my mind opening all memories. The scene was melting, melting away. In its place was a dark, dismal underground lane. Finally the shadows left me alone. The shadows I had been running from.
I made a list in my head:
Ø No trees – just rocks
Ø No grass – just sand
Ø No hills – just light
Ø No creek – no life
just boulders and rubble and dust.
The face was in my head, the pale cruel face. “Shadows” he roared with fire in his eyes. “Attack!” Soldiers reached out with their icy grip. Laughing more, laughing and more laughing. I felt myself grow weaker. The noise changed to a hum. My legs buckled. No more laughing; a smile. But evil or friendly, I will never know.
“HHHHELPPPP!”
“Why,” I whipered.
Trapped in my own wardrobe.
Welcome to our Writing
I really want my year 6 children to experience having a real audience for their writing hence this blog! I hope you enjoy their writing!
Please feel free to post comments and pointers for how they can improve.
Best wishes
Oak 1 teacher Miss G!
Please feel free to post comments and pointers for how they can improve.
Best wishes
Oak 1 teacher Miss G!
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