Sunday, 20 January 2008

The Midnight World by Laura

The Midnight World by Laura

Everything was quiet…

Sorry, let me take you back a step. I’ll take you back to the day before. That’s what I’ll do, take you back to the beginning.

Gravel dug into the bottom of my thighs, the sun was blaring down and the noise grew louder. It was January, why was it so hot? My nose twitched. What was that? The air smell was no longer hot and stuffy, but sticky, scented yet strangely peaceful. Wait, the enemies were lulling me. Resist Jo, resist.

“Jo don’t go into the midnight world!” echoing through my worthless head; why, I always went? My mind and legs were working differently. I was going.

Everything was quiet…

There they are my beautiful fir trees; so thick, so strong. The grass is dancing in the scented breeze. I can see so far away to the echoing valleys, the whispering hills, which were all singing, all the way to the river – I had discovered them all. But something was wrong…

By the tree, it’s there again. The silhouette. Pain flashed through my mind opening all memories. The scene was melting, melting away. In its place was a dark, dismal underground lane. Finally the shadows left me alone. The shadows I had been running from.

I made a list in my head:
Ø No trees – just rocks
Ø No grass – just sand
Ø No hills – just light
Ø No creek – no life
just boulders and rubble and dust.

The face was in my head, the pale cruel face. “Shadows” he roared with fire in his eyes. “Attack!” Soldiers reached out with their icy grip. Laughing more, laughing and more laughing. I felt myself grow weaker. The noise changed to a hum. My legs buckled. No more laughing; a smile. But evil or friendly, I will never know.

“HHHHELPPPP!”
“Why,” I whipered.

Trapped in my own wardrobe.

4 comments:

dazza d said...

That writing was amazing - all the hairs on the back of my neck are standing up! I love the range of sentences - some so descriptive; others short and dramatic. It kept me gripped the whole time and made me ask so many questions.
AMAZING - well done Laura. I would award 4 chillies - that was Smokin'!!!

Laura said...

Dear Dazza D,
Thank you for your comment. I really enjoyed writing the midnight world. I am glad it gripped you.(when I read it I didn't think it was that good!)
Thank you again for your comment.

Laura

dazza d said...

Thanks for your reply. Your writing was fab! My class thought it was from a real author - we looked at your use of language and excellent range of sentences. We had a class vote and all awarded 3 chiilies - lots of children wanted to give you 4!! I think you are a great writer - and I'm not easy to please!! Keep going - we'd love to read more

dazza d

Anonymous said...

A very clever beginning.

I think your writing is very gripping.

Well done Laura!